2011 (September-December)

its edge drops down personal imperfection
what if memories are
where coat is hanged
i pay no particular attention
as respect has to be earned

you take off sad reality
almost throwing it
me, accepting to store various stitches of entities
can not be blamed
for slapdash of current times

with impulses close to madness
others memories are caught
i have hypnotized numbers
they sorted out value system
adding to critical situation
some layers (01st September 2011)

when they already sleep
in a jigsaw of sorrow
we say goodbye to formerly big projects

tears dangling in air
make an umbrella of unsuccessful events
reduced to a common denominator
of non – existence

if fall
we start running around with memory jars
nervously filling in with freeholds

not to live with theirs grumbling
is like doing a step back
a put out glance
a hidden report
about pubic hair and milk teeth (05th September 2011)

in their notes
bolded and underlined dates
circle like birds trying to find nest
triumphantly landing
in a rhythm of breaths

firstly dusk wraps up with black wings
so dark night could spread them over
absentmindedness full of scabs

hostages of their own visions
lose battles without fight
create next spheres of privacy
silently given bread slice
takes back energy
they run from average to no entity
loose monopoly
for glass of breath (09th September 2011)

it seems that september lets
with warm blows
stroke our cheeks
wants like a close person
tenderly keep off hardships
anniversary of woven failures
evaporates with today’s tomorrow

us, snuggled
to adopted under constraint sensation
pull off almost all nudity
a bit too much exhibitionism
a bit too colorfully painted life

only night time sneaking to fridge
spreads in installments reached depression
grows on soul
in a form of something tasty (12th September 2011)

whoever has seen
or knows about the missing
has ran away before daybreak
from plastic chains of shame
devoured by hesitancy flame
has taken a honey jacket

to hide in seclusion of quarreled promises
will sell nude stiletto heels from Louboutin
may act aggressive
talk silly
with starched look could sneer at offered help
birth mark
adorned with sinful jewellery

whoever has seen or knows
please do not notify
will be knocked down by car of fate’s diversion
murdered by observing solitude
or get lost in labyrinth of sighs
does not matter (13th September 2011)

early getting up to work
swap on other form of punishment
morning mist
curtain covers all streets
me being numb
shake off reluctance
from eyelids without essentiality

feel pain differently
can slam hand inside door
maybe admitting to
natural fur and homophobia
hurts more
people will lynch

rough experience
like two day stubble
wound enough
to want more
is a fancy inside of human’s originality
that i am ashamed of
nevertheless redo
too much, too little
in a rhythm of ticking clock (14th September 2011)

standing still
insect set in amber
yet creeps into folds of brain
hatching eggs

clenching thirsty throats
blindly looks back on roadway
of speeded up sensations

tone of proposed toast
pepper dry
rubbed in fingers powder form
in vain

with prayers
subtle image comes undone
outline in window waiting for taxi
scent of his sperm when beats another woman
marks familiar knife in a pocket
heavily (16th October 2011)

i lick off your saliva
drooling down window pane
you tried to find on it details
of pleasant hypocrisy

in skin suit covering body
go to newsagent to purchase new face
my disappointment pins down
like a wet blanket

you constantly do chinese shape eyes in front of window
although anti-wrinkle creams
get more expensive (18th October 2011)

so that is the way sliding eye lids
let seeing in a slow motion
extremely important frames of mime show
stretched hand
wins with suspension dots
weight of envelopes
slipped in inner pockets
soaks with goodwill
so that is the way when lacking courage for endurance
and loony miss their target (19th October 2011)

they have covered up with fine veil of sheets
to be closed in a trap of restraints
loop put around neck
tightens appetite for lust
gives permission for ripping off shame
fans hidden deeply letters
letters hardened and swollen
passing by shivers
yet provocative lingerie
scornfully scares away remains of sleep (23rd October 2011)

existed no motive
yet frigid whispers were inventing more
smothered circles of sun
were penciled with compasses
in circles

hungry look spies on with vindictive eye
when depression comes
blinks tired
finds a motive

at the tip of tongues real one lies
congeals in pool of saliva
impatient moves back

did not lick fields frost
has no claims advanced
because existed no motive (23rd October 2011)

she has chosen
road with blind standpoint
a shithole reeking with dung
and howling of dog at nights

when not accepting challenge in crisis
vagueness pinches
redeems part of deformed fantasies
dusty crystals

taken out of wardrobe sleepy pleasure
stretches out
chooses the same road
puts out trashy grief
with boots for hiking (24th October 2011)

to look for hints
on finger tips
gagging mouths
is rapidly indulging
in smooth moves

one blot was enough to bring relief
to whole calmness
guess level of sham

personal torture room
lifts up a curtain
pathetic tones stroke wrong way
orchestra with trembling content
starts to play as fast as chopper’s moves
trembling has wasted
let slip the fun

lips mended with twine
say restrained narrations
from darkness anxiety blown
until ice – cold dawn has come (10th November 2011)

tend not to have dreams
awaiting for scraps of thought
rolled up under the eye
cast shadow on slippery corridors
vanishing at evening shift door

do not gaze
if my look is empty
i sleep in long faces
lacking experience
have no courage
to throw myself out

too often think about the same sins
spoiled girls do what they want
with eyes wide open
thick layer of unwelcomed surprise
flutters with eye lashes (13th November 2011)

those days
dry leaves
flew away from now-ness tree
in simple words
could have been mine
bitten with no reason
faithful dogs
observing territory round backyard

their hunger gradually swollen
made dapples on back of paws
suspended breaths
streaks left on window panes
reveal belief in own fatigue

hours past
one day after another
carried basket into brighter nowhere
breaking of those days’ pride (13th November 2011)

next to you
on empty stomach
short moments after work
we tie up with succulent silence
this is cozy

paper shadows of our forms
slowly unglue rusty breaths
benumbed in mouths
had more negative side effects

we pass round dirty glasses
put aside melting mood
resembles sandbag
throats harden with a weight of irreversible numbness

trip for aggravation
ends with night time warmth
skin slouching at the edge of bed
swallows morning narration (16th November 2011)

object passed flying
heavier than Yorkshire pudding
youngsters rule the streets

gossips disperse
oxygen with remains of hope
breaths through the nose for short lived shows
embody the illusion
of secured mortgage
trips to bookies
and endless nights out

immigrants listen to quail calling
packed tesco bags
with stolen possibilities
carry history of sadness
from East to North Belfast (18th November 2011)

my merit
is dying on cross of mistakes
initially a desire alive and swollen
until engaged in a dialogue

built fake tunes
fatten by contagious fear
represent street hum
it strokes rotten eye colour

shower behind window – relief
I imagine a walk with porcelain steps
in slavery control of situation
ultimate emotions cause shade of fear
strenuously warding off from sorrow
as if had a choice without essence
in asking questions (24th November 2011)

main addiction
needs to be fed with rich meal
otherwise throat gets stiff
hesitant demons start creeping
moving towards unknown directions

newspaper mush
sticks to coat hangers
skips here and there
should be allowed to inform about economic crisis

extra dumplings portion
disturbs space time continuum
cutlery clatter submitted to physical examination
notices hypocrisy in a smile

was tasty
without losing a tongue
could be tastier
destruction after destruction
comes from toilets
question if taking away more food (15th December 2011)

each door has
fair amount of failures
a wreath nailed
giving evidence
of slaughtered days
and strangled dawns

for a moment glossy smiles
came back
to turn towards
discontented North Pole
went away in frosty silence

branches heavy from ornament
release warn scent
of freshly baked gingerbread
memorised hometown taste
we are about to examine
approaching merry moments
fill with them bankrupt system
wash flesh
in a current of pure relief (22nd December 2011)

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